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From the Huffington Post:

Blame the economy?

The pricey gym Gwyneth Paltrow and trainer Tracey Anderson are opening this month in Tribeca may be having problems finding clients. A spy said Anderson – who’s also responsible for Madonna’s freakishly buff bod – and gym reps have been cold-calling people asking them to come in for a meeting. “It’s ridiculous,” said a person who was contacted. “Membership is like $4,500 to join and then hundreds of dollars a month. Who can afford that right now?”

Better yet, I’d like to know who in the hell is dumb enough to take training advice from someone who thinks there’s such a thing as an “inner bicep” muscle and names their children after pieces of fruit? I can only imagine what the sales pitch is like:

Random Patron: “Hi, I was thinking about joining your gym.”

Gwyneth Paltrow (GP): “Oh, you’ll love Snuffleupagus’ Tracy’s methods. She just has a way of figuring out how to make muscles do certain things. For example, she can make the rhomzipidus muscle shit jellybeans. It’s amazing. It’s kind of like magic. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think she was making stuff up. Hahahahaha”

Random Patron: “Um, okay. What else is included with the membership, it seems kind of expensive?”

GP: “Right, well, we offer various amenities. For starters, you get a free autographed Blu-ray of Shakespeare in Love. You also get a complimentary glass of cucumber water, a battery, and we also offer free childcare during your visit. My two little ones are there right now. Speaking of which, can you hold on a second………..

APPLE!!!! WATERMELON!!!!! If I have to come in there one more time, I swear to god I’m going to make your father sing to you till your ears bleed. Don’t think I won’t do it!”

As if opening an over-priced training studio wasn’t bad enough, a reader of my blog just sent me this link this morning from Dailymail.com:

Scarlett Johansson has enlisted the help of Gwyneth Paltrow’s personal trainer to shape up for her new film role.

The beautiful actress, who was once renowned for her hourglass curves, now does daily workouts with Gwyneth and fitness expert Tracy Anderson.

The Lost In Translation star has lost 14lbs – and at last month’s Moet & Chandon Tribute To Cinema party in London she was looking decidedly less voluptuous.

For those who missed it, let me repeat that last sentence……..SHE WAS LOOKING LESS VOLUPTUOUS. Goddamit Tracy Anderson!!!! It’s one thing to go out of your way to spread ridiculous myths like “no woman should ever lift a weight over 3 lbs,” and then try to populate this world with your army of Skeletors. That I can deal with. But when you start messing with Scarlett Johannson’s breasts, that’s where I draw the line. Why don’t you just spit on the American flag while you’re at it. I’ll take this to the United States Supreme Court if I have to. Someone get me Big Daddy Clarence Thomas on speed dial. This shit stops now.

Sorry I’ve been slacking on the blogging front as of late. I’m currently in the midst of searching for a new apartment, and it’s been about as much fun as a rectal exam. Needless to say it’s been taking up a lot of time and it’s not going quite as smoothly as I had hoped. I mean, like anyone in the market, I’m just looking for the perfect fit. Good neighborhood located near “stuff,” close to the subway, includes heat/hot-water, hardwood floors, and has a gold plated bathtub. You know, the basics.

Moving on, I don’t really have much to say today, but since this is a fitness blog, I’ll just leave you with an exercise you should be doing, but aren’t.

What Is It: X-Pulldowns

Who Did I Steal it From: Mike Boyle (thanks Mike!)

What Does It Do: Great way to work scapular stabilizers, as well as emphasize scapular retraction

Key Coaching Cues: Chest tall, chin tucked, keep shoulder blades pointed “down,” squeeze glutes, pull elbows down-towards the hips, make sure both feet are pointed forward.

UPDATE: Apartment search is officially over, bitches. Place is off the hook. It has running water, and a toaster! New address is

222 Rockhard Abs Boulevard

PO Box: WTFIHAVETODOMYOWNLAUNDRYNOW

Awesomeville, USA

Ladies?

Anyone who’s trained athletes, or “weekend warriors” for that matter, knows how important warming up is. In my experience, many trainees have no clue how to warm-up properly, and as a result, either dismiss it entirely or haphazardly go through a general cookie-cutter routine. Think about it- how does peddling on a bike for ten minutes followed by your standard, ho-hum hamstring stretch that you hold for 30 seconds in one position prepare you for the more dynamic nature of resistance training/sprinting/etc?

In case you couldn’t pick up on the sarcasm, it doesn’t. Thankfully, in the past few years we’ve had a handful of great products, most notably Magnificent Mobility and Inside-Out, that introduced us to the concept of dynamic flexibility. Most recently however, I came across another great product which does a fantastic job at discussing the importance of the warm-up; The Parisi Warm-Up Method.

Both Martin Rooney and Bill Parisi do a fantastic job at outlying how and why going through a proper warm-up is crucial as far as preparing athletes for running, jumping, and change of direction that takes place on the playing field. Likewise, they also recognize that for the average person who has the mobility of a batting cage, going through a dedicated warm-up/dynamic flexibility routine works wonders as far as improving basic biomotor skills such as speed, strength, power, flexibility, endurance, muscular coordination, and joint stabilization. In short, warming up is kind of a big deal.

Stuff I Liked: Superb production value. Thorough desciption of all exercises with slow motion review, as well as key points to remember/coaching cues. No cheesy porn-style music either which was a bonus. As an added incentive, there’s a detailed 10-15 minute demonstration of the coaching staff from Parisi Speed School taking their athletes through the entire warm-up, which I found very helpful.

Stuff I Disliked: Other than Martin Rooney making me feel like a girly man (the guy is a brick shit-house), there wasn’t much I didn’t like about the video. I guess I could be nit-picky and say that some (and by some I mean like 1-2) of the exercises/movements they demonstrated were a bit out-dated given some of the recent research on spinal range of motion. But like I said, that’s just being anal and it’s not that big of a deal.

All in all, I thought this was an awesome product and would highly recommend it to anyone who trains athletes and/or people who take their health/performance seriously. Check it out here.

This is going to be really quick (but just so everyone knows, this is the third day in a row that I have blogged…..score!!!!), since I’m leaving for the weekend to visit Mike Robertson and Bill Hartman in Indianapolis. I’ll be spending most of my time at their facility, I-FAST observing and watching them train their clients/athletes.

It’s always great to be able to see what other coaches are doing in the industry, and I’m sure I’ll learn a ton. As well, I’m looking forward to getting a good lift in tomorrow with the I-FAST crew, and Bill is going to sit down with me and see if he can figure out what the hell is going on with my knees. Additionally, word on the street is that Mike has an epic dinner planned for Saturday night. Can you say dead animal flesh!?!

On an aside, I’d rather pass a kidney stone than fly. This is officially the first time I’m flying alone, and well, US Airways better have some nunchucks available to knock me unconscious. Although, I guess I’d settle for a bag of gummy bears to keep me occupied. I promise I’ll be a good boy.

I have a friend who’s attempting to join the FBI later this year, and unfortunately, one of the tests she has to pass is a timed 1.5 mile run. To prepare, she’s been running like a bat out of hell lately, and of course, her shins are banged up as a result. Anyone who has read my blog for any period of time knows how much of a fan I am of distance running to get in shape (Hint: I’d rather swallow ebola). Nonetheless, in this instance, it’s not quite as simple as me telling someone to simply “stop running.”

Either way, before she heads to Quantico and get all Clarice Starling up their asses, I suggested she watch the above video from dieselcrew.com showcasing their shin splint rehab protocol. Great stuff.

A reader of my blog (thanks Courtney) sent me a link to this article from MSN Health & Fitness a few days ago titled “9 Fitness Rules You Should Break”. According to her, it’s designed for maximum eye-stabbage, and I couldn’t agree more.

I think I counted at least 37 things in the article that made me want to jump into a shark’s mouth. But I do have to say that the statement that took me over the edge was this:

While it’s true that protein is a vital muscle food, your body can only use so much of it. “Any extra protein calories you take in will be stored as fat,” says Molly Morgan, R.D., owner of Creative Nutrition Solutions in Vestal, New York. “As a general rule, remember that 20 percent of your calories should come from protein. So if you’re eating an 1,800-calorie diet, try to shoot for a maximum of 360 calories, or 90 grams, of protein each day. Low-fat milk and cheese, broccoli, and chicken are all good sources of lean protein.”

First of all, I despise blanket statements such as “any extra protein calories you take in will be stored as fat.” if you’re ingesting more calories than you’re expending then any extra calories of anything will be stored as fat; I don’t care if it’s carrots. Assuming that the 1,800 calorie diet above is at a deficit, how is it possible that any extra calories coming from protein will be stored as fat? Hello McFly!?!

Secondly, I hate basing diets off of percentages. I’d much rather base macronutrient “needs” off of a gram value based off of one’s current (or even desired) bodyweight. It’s a lot less hassle, and a bit more realistic for people to follow. Thirdly, since when is broccoli a good source of protein? I think my shower curtain has more protein in it than broccoli. Then again, Ms. Morgan’s company is called Creative Nutrition Solutions, so does this really surprise anyone?

I read an article by my good friend Leigh Peele not too long ago which talked about the role that NEAT/NEPA play in our daily lives. For those not in the know:

NEAT: Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis

NEPA: Non-Exercise Physical Activity

Both are essentially the same thing, and can range anywhere from gently tapping your foot on the ground while you’re patiently waiting in line at Starbucks, to taking the stairs rather than the escalator.

We all know that in order to lose fat, we need to be at a caloric deficit. This can happen through a decrease in total calories, an increase in physical activity, or a combination of both. Unfortunately, with regards to the former (dieting), your body hates you. Metabolically (and hormonally) speaking, your body will do everything it can to preserve fat. I mean, when you think about it, you’re basically working against thousands of years of evolution when you go on a diet. The body can’t distinguish between your attempt to get six-pack abs and well, starving. As such, it will do everything it can to keep the body “alive.” To illustrate my point, I’m going to steal from Lyle McDonald’s book, The Ultimate Diet 2.0

Underfeeding

Calories…………………………….down

Protein………………………………no change or up

Carbs/fat (energy)………………down

Insulin………………………………down

Total Testosterone……………..down

Free Testosterone………………down

GH…………………………………..up

IGF-1……………………………….down

Thyroid…………………………….down

Catecholamines…………………up

Cortisol……………………………up

Leptin………………………………down

Gherlin…………………………….up

Cellular Energy State…………down

Protein Synthesis……………..down

Bodyfat Levels…………………down

Muscle Mass……………………down

NET EFFECT……………………..body is systematically catabolic

To summarize: metabolic rate plunges (t3-t4, leptin decreases), you feel hungry (gherlin increases), you don’t move around as much (NEAT/NEPA are non-existent), and people pretty much hate being around you.

Personally, I’d much rather see people attempt to increase their physical activity (NEAT/NEPA included) than go on some prolonged diet that’s only going to make them look like an Olsen twin. As Leigh pointed out in her article, when trainees are more cognizant of including more activity in their daily lives, fat loss tends to soar because they’re burning more overall calories throughout the day. Mind you, I’m NOT implying one shouldn’t reduce their caloric intake. Rule #1 for fat loss is total calories (calories in vs. calories out), lets not get carried away.

Rather, all I’m trying to say is that many people take it to the extreme and reduce calories too low in the first place. As I alluded to in the list above, underfeeding leads to a cascade of events (hormonally) that tend to lead to in-activity, and less than stellar results.

Nevertheless, in an attempt to increase my NEAT/NEPA, I’ve been going for a lot of 30 minute walks around Davis Square in the mornings before breakfast, and I’ve even resorted to folding my laundry and making my own ham sandwiches for a change. Additionally, and while this falls outside the lines of what NEAT/NEPA entails, I’ve also tried to make a “to do” list to complete throughout the day while I’m at CP. As an example, every hour I try to do 20 push-ups, or maybe 20 body-weight squats, or I might throw in some low-grade mobility/flexibility drill like squat-to-stand w/Reach:

So, what are YOU going to do today? I realize that many of you are at work as you read this and are going to be restricted. But who’s to say that you couldn’t sneak away for two minutes to go do some scapular wall slides in an empty office? I mean, if everyone else can take ten minutes to go smoke a cigarette, why can’t you get away to go work on your scapular-humeral rhythm?

UPDATE: since I originally wrote this blog this morning, I’ve already gone for a 30 minute walk, rescued a litter of kittens from a dumpster, planted 14 apple trees, moonwalked through Faneuil Hall, and washed my cereal bowl. That’s NEPA people. Ya got served!

*Jessica Alba Will Be Mine, Oh Yes, She Will Be Mine

Normally I don’t go out of my way to address this kind of stuff, but well, I just couldn’t resist. Plus, I’m in a bad mood since I’m already getting my ass handed to me in our CP bracket pool (goddammit Binghamton!!!!!!)so whatever.

Q:

Alright Big Tony! I read your article on t-nation.com and the last time I checked when did pitchers even become strength coaches? By the way how much do you lift, believe and do what you say? You don’t look like you lift very much.

A: Yeah, I know what you’re sayin dude. I mean, given the recent recession, people just aren’t hiring. Professional tank driver was taken. And unfortunately, Minka Kelly isn’t hiring anyone to be her personal stalker. So in the end, I had to resort to the strength coach thing.

Then again, what do I know? We only had athletes from eleven Major League organizations train with us this past off-season. And none of them trained on a BOSU ball no less. Weird.

As far as not looking like I don’t lift that much.

And let me just say that I am by no means saying that a 500 deadlift is anything extraordinary. Nor am I saying that it constitutes as “strong.” I mean, what is strong? There are plenty of dudes out there who can squat 600 lbs, but can’t even perform a 1-legged bodyweight squat. Is that strong? Sure, kinda. But what it really says to me is that they’re really good at a particular lift and suck at everything else. Strong is subjective. Go to a Cirque du Soleil show and try to tell me that those performers aren’t strong?

Nevertheless, I do like to think I practice what I preach. Which is to say my arms look freakin “gunny” in that video.